Sales Managers: What would humanity be without them?

Sales Managers for scientific instruments are incredible. They have absolutely no idea about the products they sell, and don't even hide it. Here is an excerpt from my (ME) last weeks encounter with one (SM):

ME: So what brought you to our institute today.

SM: I am trying to meet a few people and see if I can sell some things. - What do you do?

ME: Molecular Biophysics.

SM: I don't know this method. What do you need? [starts dropping random catalogues on my table]

ME: So what is the measuring volume of this instrument?

SM: I don't know. It's in the catalogue.

ME: We already have an instrument of the other company in our core facilities.

SM: Apparently there is a problem with this instruments. They don't like it.

ME: What is the problem?

SM: I don't know.

SM: The other company does not have customer support here. We have customer support.

ME: Where is he based?

SM: In Belgium.

ME: That is more than 5000 miles away, on a different continent.

SM: Yes, but he comes here regularly. And I only live 1 hour away. I can come too, and help.

MS: But you don't know the instrument.

SM: No sir.

ME: I thought this SPR method was patented. How did your company deal with it?

SM: I don't know.

ME: I don't think SPR is a useful method. I never had any good results with Biacore. What is the difference between your company and biacore?

SM: It's better.

ME: why is it better?

SM: I don't know. My company says so. 

ME: ...?

SM: I can put you in contact with our application specialist. He will call you.

ME: No, please just give me his contact details, and I will contact him if I need to.

SM: He will call you in the next few days.

ME: I do not need to be called. I will call if I need to.

Two days later I received a stream of email messages, including:

Dear Dr. Massimo:

Day before yesterday I met Prof Bernhard and we had a discussion about NanO ITC and, he wants to have a comparison statement on our Nano ITC with Microcal.

Secondly he has to clarify some more points with Application and so we recommend that you will call him as a courtesy.

Is it possible to call him? He is ready for a Skype Call also. Below is his contact info.

[...]

and:

Dear Dr. Bernhard:

Our Senior Application Specialist sent a mail as below.

She wants to talk to you.

Please let me know by return mail , whether this time is OK for a call?

Please let me know your convenient time

Regards